Crazy Grocery Store Guy Spotted Again

A large corporation was having a job fair and a friend was there to apply for a job. I've never been to a job fair but apparently it entails standing around for long periods of time. So, I stopped by to keep him company.

We ended standing behind a young lady who was filling out an application and she was wearing lime green short shorts, a blood drive t-shirt and flip flops. Not what I would have chosen if I was there to apply for a job. But what to I know?

However, lime green short lady did not have the best outfit. That honor would go to the biker grandma. She was in her sixties, whe had a bandana wrapped around her head. Her jeans were ripped at the knees and she was wearing a leather Harley Davidson vest with nothing underneath. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

But the best was yet to come because who do I see in another line?

Yes, it was crazy grocery store guy and the poor gentleman with the glazed eyes standing next to crazy grocery store guy did not look too happy.

I was desperate to know if he got an interview and if so, what he said in the interview. I'm kind of intrigued. Is he still on the "rich want the end of the world" kick or has he moved on? But I figured it was good to not even make eye contact with the crazy so I ended up leaving.

End of the World, Facelifts and Bush is Jealous of OU Football

Yesterday, I am standing in line at the grocery store trying to decipher this guy's t-shirt that had Harry Potter and a bagel on it.

I am standing behind a man in his late thirties who turns to me and says, "hopefully, they'll have a better year this year."

I am wearing an OU t-shirt and I know he's referring to the football team but all I'm thinking is "I can't possibly care less about OU football." But I say to him, "one can only hope."

This may have been a mistake because then the gentleman went on what can only be described as a rant.

First, it was how George W. Bush fixed the chamipionship game to let Texas win because Bush is jealous because OU has Adrian Peterson and Texas only had Vince Young. I'm not sure that whole jealousy excuse works considering OU did not actually play in the championship game.

At this point, I thought he was joking but then the rant continued and now I'm pretty sure that he was serious.

He went on about what an idiot Vince Young is and he only passed his classes because he was Vince Young.

And it didn't stop there. He moved onto the injustice of the idiotic Vince Young making millions in the NFL. And somehow this led him to the end of the world.

But I'll bet you'd be surprised to find out that God does not want the world to end. It's the rich people. Yes, that's right the rich people want the world to end.

And you know what, people all the time tell this gentleman that his parents are rich. And he tells them, "that's right...and they want the end of the world too."

And finally, as was checking out he told me that his father had passed away a few months earlier and he knew his mother was about to get remarried because she bought a new car and got a facelift.

Thankfully, he then left.

All I really wanted was soy sauce, rice and a Dr. Pepper but instead I learned something:
1) Bush is jealous of the OU football program...so much so that he fixed the championship game that OU didn't even play,
2) God does not have a problem with the world,
3) However, rich people apparently do, and
4) Nothing equals a remarriage like a new car and a facelift.

I Heart Tim Gunn

I love Tim Gunn. If Project Runway were ever to get cancelled, I think I would have to apply to Parson's. Of course, that would require talent. I should get working on that.

Former Flyers Fan

I used to flove the Philadelphia Flyers. But the love slowly faded...mostly due to the fact that no one seemed to want to slap that overgrown and overhyped spoiled brat known as Eric Lindros.

But then they traded Rod Brind'Amour and the love was gone.

And then I moved back to the great state of Oklahoma where Fox Sports shows Dallas Stars games. And I could become a Stars fan. It was possible. But then they went and did the unthinkable. They signed Eric Lindros.

I'm sad.

Creepy Welch's Kids

The kids on those Welch's grape juice commercials are incredibly creepy.

I'm convinced they are evil and are plotting to take over the world and turn it into their evil den of iniquity.

Their parents probably get them together for what they think are innocent play dates.

In reality, they are sessions where their devious schemes are born.

They are truly evil...just look at their eyes.

Wildfires

Wild, grass fires raged in my part of the world. No one I know lost their house. Although, one of the third graders in my reading group came awfully close to losing their house. The fire line was within a foot of the side of their house and the siding on that side is all melted away. But the house is still there.

The fire also came awfully close (within a few yards) to the seventh grade teacher's house. She was out from school on Friday dealing with the insurance company and the awful smoke smell in her house.

I, lucky individual that I am, got to substitute for her. Her class has a handful of obnoxiouskids in it. I didn't have a lot of fun.

And at one point, they were talking about the fire and the suspicion that it was arson.

Two girls in the class turned to me, perfectly seriously, and asked me, "Who's arson?"

I fear for the future.

More Masturbating Judge

The alleged masturbating judge will go to trial on four charges of indecent exposure.

More details have come to light lately. For instance, he apparently (and allegedly) enjoyed using a penis pump. And during one trial he allegedly took time to shave his scrotum.

Seriously, the article about the masturbating judge was the best thing about the newspaper today.

Beauty and the Geek

Last night, I watched a re-run of "Ashton Kutcher's social experiment" Beauty and the Geek.

After I got through laughing and laughing at the phrase "Ashton Kutcher's social experiment," I throughly enjoyed the show.

Because there are few things that I enjoy more than bad television and this show is definitely bad television.

Plus, I kind of have a crush on Joe. He makes movies and tutors kids...how can that boy not have a girlfriend.